Categories
National

Plague Doctors: Leech, Myrrh Reserves Dangerously Low

Plague doctors are sounding the alarm about shortages in critical supplies. As they work to fight the deadly miasma affecting thousands across the globe, plague doctors are increasingly worried that they will not have the resources necessarily to fend off the night air.

“Leeches, myrrh, and laudanum are all in high demand as we balance patients’ humors,” explained Dr. Pestopfer Schnabel von Rom. He cautioned that “the noxious vapors of the marshes cannot be controlled without these valuable substances.”

The unhealthy fog wafting from the Orient has caused a mighty pestilence to descend upon Europe and much of the New World. While alchemists work around the sundial to develop elixirs for this disease, plague doctors use everything at their disposal to keep patients’ humors balanced. Increasingly, they are worried that they may have to switch to less effective solutions like newts and junipers berries.

“The disease seems to be due to an overabundance of blood and yellow bile,” observed Dr. Schnabel. He is one of many plague doctors now pushing for more bloodletting and poultices of chamomile, but worries that there won’t be enough to treat everyone. “Doctors may be forced into some terrible choices, like substituting sage for arsenic in their tinctures,” he warned.

Dr. Schnabel also urged the public to stay away from rotting vegetation and burn any suspected witches in the area. “If we follow some common-sense guidelines and expel all Jews and Gypsies, we should be able to control the spread of this disease.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *