God Plans More Sequels After Success Of SARS 2

With the resounding success of the CoV-SARS-2 virus, God has announced plans to produce more sequels to past diseases. The virus, which was released late in 2019, has found widespread popularity around the world, resonating especially with older audiences. Now, God hopes that He can strike gold with other dormant franchises.

This isn’t the first successful revival for God. “One of my biggest early hits was the bubonic plague, which spawned a number of highly lucrative sequels,” he said in an interview at his office in Heaven. “I started seeing diminishing returns after the last few plagues, though, and I think I ran it into the ground.” A string of original diseases followed, including chart-toppers cholera, syphilis, and measles. But after the eradication of smallpox and the underwhelming debuts of MERS and Zika, God again decided to try working within an existing franchise.

The original SARS came out in 2002 to worldwide fanfare, but failed to make a splash outside the Chinese market. With over 11,000 deaths at time of press, SARS 2 has already far outstripped its predecessor, and expectations are high in the coming months. Industry analysts are expecting big returns in the African market, where perennial favorites malaria and HIV continue to dominate.

“I tried a few Ebola reboots [in Africa],” God explained, “but they never quite took hold the way I wanted them to.” He’s also looking at other emerging markets, including India and South America, and hoping that the disappointing early returns from Southeast Asia will rebound. Overall, God said that He’s been pleased with his latest release, and is looking forward to some “exciting projects” that will come out in 2021.

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